So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize