Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
