After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Boobs speak an international language.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
