you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
