I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The police scanner is talking about you again....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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