Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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