I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
