At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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