so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
