so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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