Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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