Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
