I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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