i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
