I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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