You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
