he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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