between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize