Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
