that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
