I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
