I never want to see another naked old woman again.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
