THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
