So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
