she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize