my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I want her autograph on my taint
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Randomize
