He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize