East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
