How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
