Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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