Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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