That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
