I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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