I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
