the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
