so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
