dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
