She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Buhtt sex?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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