I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
