You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
