Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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