So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
