i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
