so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A+ Viking dick
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
