I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
