this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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