I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
