the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
