There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
