K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
