I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize