How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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