Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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