Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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