is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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