Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
