i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
