So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
