I seem to have left my pride at pride
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
