You made me cry and you don't even care
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
