I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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