Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
