now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize