i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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