she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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