i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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