For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
