Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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