i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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